Wednesday, January 03, 2001

...updating links..one moment please...
1/3/2001 08:42:03 PM | immortalize me | 21 comments

wow...its still here....n i still member how 2 use it...ok so...why havnt i blogged in almost 2 months?..nothing 2 say?...yeah right..i ALWAYS have something 2 say (just ask gary) ....so why?...i think maybe at first it was just cuz i didn't feel like it..i had plenty 2 say just didn't feel like saying it, or something...

then it was, well..i could blog, but its been so long im sure nobody gives a shit..and if they do still stop by, it will probably be such a short post that the most exciting response i could expect to get would be "i waited and checked this page every day for a month and this is all she posts?? im takin her offa my bookmarks"...then it was...hmm..i havnt posted in so long nobody even prolly comes by here anymore...the last one is easily rectified, because i know that anyone who reads my blog also reads gary's so all i would hafta do is tell him 2 post somethin bout me postin again n (hopefully) ppl would stop by...as for the first one...whether or not i feel like sayin it, well doesnt really matter..at some point ill type...we all know this..im 2 much of an egomanical bitch 2 do anything else...

that just leaves the second option...will anybody give a shit...and will it live up to the expectations of the long suffering surfer who has waited patiently for me to give myself the proverbial kick in the ass and start typing again...im afraid i have no control over this...so ill just type...and hope that everyone feels satisfied enough afterwards for a long pull off of a cigarette and a little "cuddle time"

to begin, let me just say that gary has not been the only one who has been sick...as he said in one of his posts, i woke him up in the a. of m. one morning hacking up something which should never be seen more than once by any human being unless it's in a petrie(?) dish...and like any normal red blooded american 2 lazy 2 get out of bed and walk the 10 feet or so to the bathroom, instead of spitting this glorious residue of cellular healing into the toilet and flushing it away so that it may better aid in the sustinence of the giant alligator living in our sewer system, i swallowed it back down, made that "i just swallowed a huge glob of wonderful snotty flem" face and tried to go back 2 sleep...not that this prevented me from sitting down in front of the computer and typing up a wonderful little post for you, the devoted reader...but it did contribute, however slightly, to the general mood of "get the fuck outta my face, im sick and i hafta go 2 work anyway and deal with retarded turds all day" non-congeniality that i have been drowning in for the better part of a month...
moving on...

i wish that everyone could be as happy as i am...thats what i would do if i had like..power over everything...or something...i would make everyone as happy as i am..maybe not all the time cuz then i think maybe the world would stop...but for at least a couple of hours a day...granted i don't go around smiling and singing all the time (especially while im at work) but for the most part..like..overall...im the happiest ive ever been in my whole life...n i know its goofy, n stupid n like...cliche...but...its cuz im in love...
that thing that people have written songs about and books about and movies about since like...people could write...thats what im in... i didn't think that it was possible, you know?..i thought i would be one of those people that just would be alone...and id get used 2 it...and maybe even grow 2 like it...on some level anyways...but i didn't think it would ever happen for me...but it did
this is gonna sound really stupid, and REALLY girlie...but, i can't believe i am typing this...ugh...before...like maybe 3 or 4 years ago...every nite when i went 2 bed, i would lay in my bed and i would pray, or wish, or whatever you call it, that i would meet someone...that god (or whoever) would bring someone into my life and that i would be happy...every nite..for like 2 years, i would do this...and no matter how tired i got of asking, or wishing, or praying or whatever i still did it..every nite...
and then it happened...when i least expected it...when i almost wasn't even looking for it...there he was..and i have been happy every day since
and every once in a while something happens that makes it almost seem like a new thing...like some wonderful present that i just got
last nite, on the way home from work, gary and i were talking, about nothing really in particular, and he mentioned the word "couple"...
and it was a funny conversation, so i laughed as i repeated the word...and then, like someone had sort of, i don't know, smacked me in the head or something, it hit me...im a couple...we r a couple...im part of a couple...
and all the happiness came flooding in all at once, like it hadn't even ever been there before, and i couldn't help smiling

not only did i find someone 2 be with and be happy with...but he's a good man, too...although he doesn't think much of himself..he's the best man i know, the kindest man i know, the most generous man i know, and the most loving man i know.

so...for everyone reading this who doesn't already have someone special in their lives...that is what i wish for you in the coming year...that you all find someone (be it man or woman) like him...someone to love you like he loves me, and for you to love like i love him...cuz...corny as it sounds thats what its all about...thats what happiness is all about

happy new year, everyone

love kathy

1/3/2001 07:51:56 PM | immortalize me | 21 comments