I was reading my husband’s blog today and he asked me “Why haven’t you been blogging?” My answer to that was “I was just thinking about that.” but that’s all I really said about the subject.
Truth is I don’t know. It isn’t like I’ve lost the interest in ‘hearing’ myself talk or anything, I just haven’t felt like it. Truth be told, I haven’t felt much like a whole lot of anything lately and blogging just happens to be included in there somewhere. More than likely at the top.
As he mentioned, my husband and I got our hair done on Friday by my SIL. His cut, mine colored. Or, well more specifically foiled. His looks really great. Mine looks good too, she did a fantastic job, exactly what I asked her to do. Which is the problem I think because I’m not completely happy with it. And I know she reads this so let me just say that, Lynn? You did a fabulous job, honestly. Problem is that, as I mentioned, you did exactly what I asked you to do and I’ve come to realize that I’m far too conservative when it comes to change. She put about 4 different colors in there and the overall look is different but as I look at it, I realize that I actually wanted something more drastic, more noticeable. I think that next time she does it, that’s what I’ll tell her I want.
As he also mentioned, we had one of our “deep and depressing” talks last night. He didn’t go into the specifics of the subject matter which leads me to believe that a) he doesn’t want people to know what it was or b) he’s waiting for me to say it’s ok to let people know what it was. Since I don’t know which it is, I’m going to err on the side of caution and assume that it’s a). Therefore, you nosey fuckers don’t get to know what it was about (although if you look through my archives, specifically those from LJ, you’ll find a post about a dream I had about it but that’s all I’m saying). Suffice it to say, it’s one of those things that we don’t talk about with each other very often and it’s been 6 years. I think in those 6 years we’ve had an honest to goodness talk about it maybe twice, including last night.
I think it’s part of the reason that I haven’t felt much like doing anything lately and while I still don’t feel like doing much of anything, hopefully the fact that we finally talked about it means that I’ve finally started working it out of my system.
Because he mentioned it, and because I like to make sure I can make anything and everything about me, I looked back to my archives to see when I made my first blog post. I had thought it was awhile after he made his but mine was actually only 3 days after his. July 19th, 2000. It still has a picture of Tabby as a baby on it too. And it’s the BTOD...mwahahhahaha.
I have to agree with him about one thing (ok more than one thing but don’t make a big deal out of it) where blogging is concerned though. In the beginning, people were just writing. It was more like a diary then, just people shootin’ the shit about what was happening day to day in their lives. You didn’t have to worry about having a ‘following’ in those days because you sort of had a built in audience when you started one up. Or at least we did because it was all of our friends from VP that were doing it and we read each other’s pages.
Nothing like now, where you have to try and be hip and cool and existential and smart. Or the other end of the spectrum...snarky, mean, cruel to the point of offense all in the name of humor. People were less concerned with image in those days and more with content which is the polar opposite of the blogging universe as a whole today. As one particular reviewing site likes to point out at every available opportunity, it’s your page they see first, not your writing. If they don’t like looking at your page, they aren’t going to stay to see what you have to say. I’m as guilty of it as the next netizen but it doesn’t mean that I like it any better.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I too long for the old days when blogging was just fun and not a huge fucking popularity contest or the next new way for somebody to try and get “discovered” by whoever it is that discovers people.
And now, because I think it will be fun, and because I’m all about the retro shows, here’s a ‘rebroadcast’ of my very first post. Dated July 19th, 2000, posted at 2:14am...enjoy?
Hello....Yes, it's true. I am a sheep. It is a realization that I have found some degree of comfort in. Knowing that you will never be a leader, never have the expectations of that particular position takes alot of the pressure off...allows for a certain degree of clarity in the ensuing madness peaking out from under the bed and behind the closet door on those dark, moonless nights...
Wow...that was deep =)
Arc of descent...has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I got it from a book (how typical). Literally defined, I believe it means the path that a moving object takes as it plunges downward at a forward angle...or something. Kinda like my mental state of late. I'll warn you now; take heed friends, for if you have decided to read my entries in full, settle in for a LONG, and hopefully entertaining ride. As anyone who knows me(including owl sitting snickering on the couch now) can tell you, I can be a bit long winded at times...although I prefer "wordy". It's nicer. I can guarantee you however that future entries won't be this um...what's the word?...abstract? At the beginning anyway. I'm just trying to get a feel for this, and trying to allow you the feel (however icky and confused it may be) of the inner workings of a psuedo-psychotic mind.
Anyways...the bulk of these entries will no doubt be dedicated to the boundless tide of blatent stupidity that walks in and out of the door of what I have lovingly come to refer to as my second home-that is, my place of business. For legal reasons, I will refrain from mentioning the name of that business, after all my reflections of it won't be exactly flattering. Besides, most of you know where I work already. In addition to work-bashing, I will also hopefully use this as a reflection, a place to get out all the shit that's running around in my head out, so I can look at it and admire the "Arc Of my own Descent."
Enjoy...
Much love,
Psy
p.s. look ma! punctuation and capitalization!
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