Yes...that’s right. I’m coming out of the closet. No, not the Gay Closet ™...the FAT Closet.

Fat people are notorious for hiding. Hiding from ourselves, from other people, from the public in general. We hide from life. I’ve spent a good chunk of my life hiding, in one way or another. I hid inside myself, inside my clothes, behind books and movies. Then finally, a little over a year ago, my closet door was opened. I took awhile to come out of it...spent most of the first few months just peering out at the bright light that poured in. Then slowly I stuck my head out, looked around and decided that Out There™ was where I wanted to be.

I started taking better care of myself, buying nice(r) clothes, doing my makeup, caring about the way I looked. I realized finally that I’m no longer ashamed of myself or my body (ok, well I’m still a little bit ashamed of that...fucking skin) and I figured out that I *want* people to see me. I want to have attention paid to me.

On Friday I also came to realize that there was one final thing that I was still using as a shield, another way to hide from the world...

Hair. So many times we hide behind our hair and I’ve spent way so long in the same “style” that I can’t remember the last time I did something truly different. Sure, I’ve gotten a couple perms, done the color thing, but it was still basically the same and it was still a crutch I was using to hide.

My wonderfully talented sister-in-law helped me take that last step out of The Fat Closet and close the door firmly behind me today. And I’ve purposely posted just a link so that all you read the last page of the book people couldn’t skip ahead and spoil the ending.

So, without further adieu....

clicky the linky